- They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances.
- All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
- Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
- You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
- Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
- The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
- When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
- The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
- You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, “Just once.”
- No movie. Don’t need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
- You see a man with a gun, but he’s demanding to be let off the plane.
- All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.
